Infidel by Ayaan Hirsi Ali Review ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ | A Memoir That Will Shake You to Your Core
There are books you enjoy.
There are books you admire.
And then there are books that make you put your Kindle down every few chapters just to stare at the wall and process what you just read.
Infidel is one of those books.
I picked it up expecting an interesting memoir. What I got instead was an unforgettable story about survival, courage, freedom, and one woman's refusal to accept that her future had already been decided for her.
Some parts are incredibly difficult to read—especially the chapters on female genital mutilation (FGM). I don't think I'll ever forget them. As someone who grew up hearing about foot binding in China, I couldn't stop thinking about the similarities. Both traditions permanently alter young girls' bodies in the name of culture and tradition. Even more heartbreaking? They're often carried out by the very women who are supposed to protect them.
It's honestly almost impossible to comprehend.
And somehow...the story keeps getting even more unbelievable.
⚠️ Trigger Warnings
This book contains:
⚠️ Female genital mutilation (FGM)
⚠️ Child abuse
⚠️ Domestic violence
⚠️ Religious extremism
⚠️ Forced marriage
⚠️ Sexual violence
⚠️ Emotional abuse
⚠️ Racism
⚠️ Murder
⚠️ Terrorism
⚠️ War
⚠️ Misogyny
⚠️ Death threats
⚠️ Mental illness
📚 Plot Summary (Spoilers)
🚨 WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW! 🚨
Infidel is the autobiography of Ayaan Hirsi Ali, born in Somalia during years of political instability.
Her father is an educated political dissident who spends much of Ayaan's childhood imprisoned, exiled, or constantly on the run. Because of this, Ayaan is largely raised by her deeply religious and often abusive mother.
One of the earliest and most horrifying moments in the memoir comes when Ayaan and her sister are subjected to female genital mutilation by their grandmother while their mother is away. The procedure is performed without anesthesia and leaves lifelong physical and emotional scars.
If that wasn't horrifying enough, Ayaan's mother is furious when she discovers what happened—but it's already too late.
The family then moves repeatedly between Saudi Arabia, Ethiopia, and eventually Kenya, constantly chasing safety while also dealing with strict religious expectations.
Growing up, Ayaan experiences brutal beatings at home and school. One religious teacher beats her so severely that her skull fractures and she requires surgery.
Thankfully, she also discovers something that changes her life forever:
📖 Books.
Reading English literature opens an entirely new world where women choose who they love, think for themselves, and control their own futures. It's the first time she realizes another life might actually be possible.
As a teenager, Ayaan becomes increasingly religious, wearing the hijab and embracing conservative Islamic teachings. But over time, questions begin creeping in. The more she thinks critically, the harder it becomes to reconcile what she's taught with what she sees around her—especially regarding women's rights and individual freedom.
Everything changes when her father arranges a marriage for her to a man living in Canada.
Rather than accept the marriage, Ayaan makes an astonishing decision.
While traveling through Germany, she boards a train to the Netherlands instead.
She applies for asylum, slightly alters parts of her story to improve her chances of being accepted, and begins building an entirely new life.
The Netherlands becomes a place where she experiences freedoms she'd never imagined—riding a bicycle whenever she wants, attending university, speaking openly, and eventually becoming a Dutch citizen.
Working as a translator for refugees, she notices many immigrant women remain trapped in the same oppressive situations they escaped, with authorities reluctant to intervene out of fear of offending cultural or religious traditions.
This experience pushes her toward politics.
Eventually she is elected to the Dutch Parliament, where she becomes an outspoken critic of religious extremism and advocates for women's rights and freedom of speech.
As her public profile grows, so do the threats against her.
She collaborates with filmmaker Theo van Gogh on the short film Submission, which criticizes violence against women committed in the name of religion.
Then comes one of the book's most shocking moments.
In 2004, Theo van Gogh is murdered in broad daylight in Amsterdam. His killer shoots him multiple times, attempts to decapitate him, and leaves a letter pinned to his body threatening Ayaan herself.
I honestly had no idea this happened.
For some reason, I'd always thought of the Netherlands as one of the safest, most peaceful countries imaginable. Learning about the assassinations of Theo van Gogh—and later reading about politician Pim Fortuyn after finishing the book—was genuinely shocking.
From that point forward, Ayaan lives under constant armed protection, moving between safe houses while continuing to speak publicly despite knowing she's a target.
Near the end of the memoir, the Dutch government attempts to revoke her citizenship after discovering inaccuracies in her asylum application. Although the decision is later reversed, the experience leaves her disillusioned.
Ultimately, she resigns from Parliament and moves to the United States, believing she can continue her work more safely there.
The memoir ends not with triumph, but with determination. Ayaan argues that societies flourish only when ideas—including religious ones—can be openly questioned, debated, and criticized. Whether readers agree with every one of her conclusions or not, there's no denying the extraordinary risks she accepted to tell her story.
💭 My Thoughts
This isn't an easy read.
Emotionally, it's exhausting.
There were multiple moments where I simply couldn't believe human beings treated women this way—and even harder to believe that some of the worst suffering came at the hands of mothers and grandmothers who genuinely believed they were doing the right thing.
That reminded me so much of foot binding in China. Another devastating practice carried out generation after generation by women who had themselves been subjected to it. Different cultures. Different methods. The same heartbreaking cycle.
I also appreciated that this memoir isn't simply about escaping one country.
It's about learning to think independently.
About discovering that questioning authority isn't a sin.
About realizing that freedom isn't just the absence of chains—it's the ability to decide your own future.
I don't expect everyone to agree with every political or religious argument Ayaan Hirsi Ali makes. She's a controversial public figure, and many readers will disagree with parts of her analysis. But regardless of where you land, her personal story is undeniably remarkable, and the courage it took to tell it is extraordinary.
Also...can we talk about the fact that she kept going despite constant death threats?
Most people would've disappeared from public life forever.
She did the opposite.
That's bravery on a level I honestly struggle to imagine.
⭐ Final Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 5/5 stars
Powerful.
Heartbreaking.
Infuriating.
Hopeful.
This is one of the most eye-opening memoirs I've ever read, and it's the kind of book that changes how you understand not only one woman's life, but the world around her.
📖 If You Enjoyed Infidel, Read These Next
Nomad by Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Unbowed by Wangari Maathai
I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai
The Girl with Seven Names by Hyeonseo Lee
First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung
Educated by Tara Westover
Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi
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