My Friends by Fredrik Backman

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🎨 My Friends by Fredrik Backman — A Beautiful Mess of Pain, Humor & Humanity (⭐ 4.5 Stars)

Okay WOW. My very first Backman book and… I get it now. I totally get the hype. 😭👏

This is one of those stories that somehow makes you laugh while emotionally gutting you at the exact same time. Like… sir??? Pick a struggle???

⚠️ Trigger Warnings (Read This First)

This book does not play around when it comes to heavy topics:

  • Substance abuse & addiction

  • Sexual assault

  • Child abuse & domestic violence

  • Self-harm & suicidal ideation

  • Bullying & anti-gay bias

  • Illness & terminal disease

  • Death & grief

  • Mental illness

👉 Basically: bring tissues. And maybe emotional support snacks.

📖 Overview (Spoiler-Free-ish Setup)

My Friends (2025) follows two timelines:

  • Present day: a troubled teen artist named Louisa

  • 25 years earlier: a group of four teenagers whose bond changes everything

At the center of it all? A painting. 🎨
And not just any painting — one that quietly holds an entire lifetime of love, loss, and friendship.

🚨 SPOILER WARNING — FULL PLOT + ENDING BELOW 🚨

(Seriously. I’m going ALL in. No holding back.)

🧵 Detailed Plot Summary (With All the Spoilers You Came For)

🎨 Present Day: Louisa & The Painting

Louisa is a foster kid, grieving her best friend Fish, and running on pure chaos energy. She breaks into an art auction (iconic behavior, honestly) to protest how art is treated like a commodity 💅

She’s obsessed with a painting called “The One of the Sea” — three friends sitting on a pier.

Instead of quietly admiring it like a normal person… she spray paints a tiny red fish next to it and gets kicked out. As one does.

Outside, she meets a dying man… who casually turns out to be the artist:
👉 C. Jat (aka Kimkim)

Before he dies, he asks his friend Ted to find Louisa and give her the painting.

Yes. Just… hands over a wildly valuable masterpiece to a teenage graffiti artist.
Backman said TRUST THE VIBES 😂

🚂 The Journey Begins

Ted tracks Louisa down and gives her the painting. She’s like:

“Sir, I am literally homeless. Where do you think I’m putting this??”

So naturally, she forces her way onto a train with him as he returns Kimkim’s ashes to their hometown.

And this is where the story REALLY begins.

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 25 Years Ago: The Original Friend Group

We meet:

  • Ted – gentle, observant, quietly broken

  • Kimkim – artistic, misunderstood, possibly neurodivergent, deeply sensitive

  • Joar – protective, angry, loyal to a fault

  • Ali – fierce, free-spirited, the emotional glue

These kids are dealing with:

  • Poverty

  • Abuse

  • Neglect

  • Grief

  • Basically… the worst starter pack imaginable 😩

Their safe place?
👉 An abandoned pier by the sea 🌊

This is where they sit, dream, escape… and unknowingly create something eternal.

🎨 The Painting’s Origin

Kimkim loves to draw but hides it. He doesn’t think he matters.

Joar, being the chaotic ride-or-die friend, is like:

“Nope. You’re going to be famous. We’re doing this.”

They scrape together money (including Joar selling his bike 😭) so Kimkim can paint.

The result?
👉 The painting of the three friends on the pier

It’s signed “C. Jat” — honoring:

  • Christian (the janitor who encouraged Kimkim)

  • And the friends themselves

💔 The Tragedies Start Rolling In

Because Backman said: what if we just emotionally destroy everyone?

  • Ali moves away… and later drowns 🌊💔

  • Ted’s father dies

  • Joar grows up in severe abuse and nearly kills his father

  • Kimkim struggles with identity, mental health, and isolation

Despite everything, they love each other fiercely. That’s the heartbeat of this book.

🌍 Adulthood & Separation

  • Kimkim becomes a world-famous artist… but battles addiction and inner demons

  • Ted becomes a teacher, then leaves after being stabbed breaking up a fight

  • Joar ends up in prison after attacking an abuser (honestly… morally complicated king 😬)

And here’s the quiet heartbreak:
👉 They drift apart.
👉 Life happens.
👉 Love remains… but at a distance.

🕊️ Kimkim’s Final Days

Ted reunites with Kimkim when he’s dying.

And here’s the part that wrecked me:
👉 Ted has always loved him.

He stays with him until the end.
No drama. No big confession scene. Just… presence. Loyalty. Love. 😭

🏠 The Ending (And It’s Actually Hopeful??)

Back in the present timeline:

Louisa meets Joar and Christian’s mother, and learns everything.

Instead of selling the painting (which would’ve been the practical choice), they do something MUCH better:

👉 They break into a museum
👉 And hang it on the wall themselves

FULL CIRCLE. I love chaos with meaning 🥹👏

🌱 Where Everyone Ends Up

  • Louisa → goes to art school → becomes a successful artist 🎨

  • Ted → becomes a teacher for incarcerated individuals (I LOVE THIS FOR HIM)

  • Joar → still carrying grief, but still standing

  • The painting → no longer just art… it’s legacy

And most importantly:
👉 The friendship lives on through Louisa

💭 My Thoughts (Let’s Talk About It)

This book is:

  • Heartbreaking

  • Warm

  • Quietly funny in the weirdest moments

  • And somehow… comforting??

Backman has this magical ability to take the heaviest topics and layer them with humor so you’re like:

“Am I crying or laughing? BOTH?? COOL COOL COOL.”

👍 What I Loved

  • The characters — messy, real, unforgettable

  • The humor — dark but perfectly timed

  • The emotional payoff — devastating but meaningful

  • The themes — friendship, art, grief, survival

🤔 My One Tiny Hesitation

I REALLY liked this book. Like… a lot.

But did it hit me as “life-changing, most profound book ever written”?
…not quite.

And I know I’m in the minority there 😅

For me, it was more:
👉 deeply moving
👉 beautifully written
👉 but just slightly short of that transcendent “OMG THIS CHANGED ME” level

⭐ Final Rating: 4.5 Stars

✨ Emotional damage: ✔️
✨ Laugh-out-loud moments: ✔️
✨ Found family perfection: ✔️
✨ Existential crisis: optional but likely

📚 If You Loved This, Read These Next

You’re going to want more of that “hurt me but make it meaningful” energy:

🧡 Final Thoughts

This is a story about:

  • Friendship that survives everything

  • Art as a form of survival

  • Grief that never fully leaves—but softens over time

And somehow… it leaves you feeling hopeful.

Which feels illegal after everything it just put you through. 😭✨

If this was your first Backman too, I need to know — are you emotionally okay?? Or are we all just pretending to be fine now?

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