First Time, Long Time by Amy Silverberg
⭐⭐⭐ First Time, Long Time — A Very Slow, Very Awkward Love Triangle (3 Stars)
Author: Amy Silverberg
Genre: Literary Fiction / Contemporary Fiction
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐ (3 out of 5)
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNINGS ⚠️
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Age-gap relationship
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Incest-adjacent dynamics (father/daughter romantic overlap)
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Infidelity
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Grief & death of a sibling
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Emotional manipulation
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Sexual content
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Mental health struggles
🚨 SPOILER WARNING 🚨
This review contains FULL AND COMPLETE SPOILERS, including the ending. Proceed accordingly or turn back now. 👀
📚 What Is First Time, Long Time About?
First Time, Long Time by Amy Silverberg follows Allison Cohen, a Los Angeles adjunct professor, book club facilitator, and horoscope writer who drifts through life being everyone’s emotional sponge while quietly unraveling herself.
When Allison meets Reid Steinman, a legendary radio DJ and her father’s literal hero, they begin an age-gap relationship that’s messy, intense, and… unsettling. Things take a sharp left turn when Allison also becomes romantically involved with Emma, Reid’s adult daughter. Yes. She dates both the father and the daughter. At the same time. 😬
On paper? That’s bold. In execution? For me, it was mostly just… uncomfortable and slow.
🧠 Tone, Humor, and Why This Didn’t Work for Me
Let’s talk humor. This book is trying to be funny, but the humor is extremely dry—the kind that makes you pause and wonder if you missed the joke or if there simply wasn’t one. I never laughed. Not even a nose exhale. 😐
I usually love messy books. I love chaos. I love bad decisions. I even like age-gap romances (I’m in one myself!). But here, Allison constantly compares Reid to her own father—their ages, their birthdays, their fandom overlap—and it made my skin crawl. Not in a provocative, interesting way. In a please stop saying that way.
This book felt like watching paint dry while someone whispers therapy speak at you.
🧩 FULL PLOT SUMMARY (With Spoilers)
Allison’s life is already weighed down by unresolved grief over her brother Jack’s death, a mother who overshares bizarre facts, and a father she calls “The Problem.” When Reid enters her life, he represents validation, safety, and status—but also mirrors her unresolved family issues.
Their relationship develops slowly: dates, dinners, sex, emotional bonding. Reid is charming but insecure, deeply afraid of becoming irrelevant. Allison oscillates between attraction and emotional distance.
Enter Emma, Reid’s daughter. Emma is sharp, flirty, and emotionally perceptive. Allison and Emma form a connection that starts as bonding and slides into emotional intimacy, secret emails, and eventually sex. Allison keeps both relationships hidden from the other, lying constantly and unraveling internally.
Thanksgiving implodes emotionally. Tahoe escalates things further. Allison spirals. Eventually, she decides she must end things with Reid—only to discover that Reid himself is in a long-term open relationship with his driver, Kelly. Surprise! Everyone’s been lying! 🫠
Allison breaks up with Reid anyway. She briefly tries to be with Emma, but that fizzles. In the end, Allison publishes her book, moves forward with her life, and finds a version of peace—not through romance, but through self-definition.
🤷♀️ Final Thoughts
I admire what this book attempted. It’s weird. It’s uncomfortable. It’s unconventional. But for me, the pacing was glacial, the humor didn’t land, and the emotional payoff wasn’t worth the slog.
Messy doesn’t always equal compelling.
And this mess just wasn’t for me.
⭐ Final Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
Interesting premise. Solid writing. But emotionally distant, painfully slow, and more awkward than engaging.
📖 If You Want “Messy but Better,” Try These Instead:
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My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfegh
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Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney
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Acts of Service by Lillian Fishman
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Milk Fed by Melissa Broder
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The Pisces by Melissa Broder
All strange. All uncomfortable. All (in my opinion) more effective. 🐟📚
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