Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa Lee

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❄️ Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See — ⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3/5)

👉 Buy Snow Flower and the Secret Fan on Amazon (affiliate link)

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⚠️ Trigger Warnings

Foot binding (graphic detail), child abuse, domestic violence, miscarriage, terminal illness, death, grief, and gender inequality.

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💭 Initial Thoughts

I think I’ve officially reached my historical fiction limit 😅. My brain is bursting at the seams with dynasties, customs, traditions, and tragedies. I might need a palate cleanser after this one.

That said — Lisa See’s writing really is lovely. The story starts out strong, and the descriptions of Chinese traditions and foot-binding were vivid and emotionally powerful. My father’s mother actually had bound feet, and seeing them in person was something I’ll never forget — so reading about it here hit differently. Even though I’m already familiar with this practice, I still found her portrayal detailed and hauntingly accurate.

But… halfway through, I started to drift. 😩
Maybe it’s the timing (I just read The Island of Sea Women), or maybe it’s that this book leans on that terminal-illness emotional arc I’ve seen too many times. It’s effective, sure — but it felt overused and manipulative.

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🚨 Spoiler Warning

If you haven’t read the book yet and want to go in fresh — skip to the “Final Thoughts” section below!

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📖 Full Plot Summary

Snow Flower and the Secret Fan is framed as a confession told by Lily, now an eighty-year-old woman looking back on her life and her lifelong friendship with Snow Flower. The story unfolds through their secret correspondence written in nu shu — a real, historical women’s writing system used in China.

As children, Lily and Snow Flower are paired in a laotong relationship — a formal bond between two girls meant to last a lifetime. Their friendship begins on a painted fan (hence the title) where they write back and forth, sharing their deepest thoughts.

Both endure the agony of foot binding at age six, a horrifying ritual meant to ensure marriageability. Lily’s feet turn out “perfect,” setting her up for a prosperous match, while Snow Flower’s life takes a different turn — her once-wealthy family is ruined by her father’s gambling and addiction.

Lily marries into a respected household and becomes Lady Lu. Snow Flower, however, marries a butcher (a lowly and despised profession), and her life spirals into hardship, abuse, and endless grief.

Over the years, the women’s letters begin to reveal tension. Lily grows frustrated with Snow Flower’s misery and lectures her about obedience and duty — failing to see how much pain her friend is truly in. Eventually, Lily publicly humiliates her, ending their friendship.

Years later, when Snow Flower is dying, Lily finally learns the truth: she had misunderstood her friend’s words and intentions all along. Wracked with guilt, Lily spends the rest of her life caring for Snow Flower’s children — and preserving women’s voices through writing. It’s both heartbreaking and redemptive. 💔

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💬 Final Thoughts

I get why this book is beloved — the themes of female friendship, cultural oppression, and redemption are timeless and deeply moving. And Lisa See’s writing has this quiet grace that’s beautiful even when the story feels heavy.

But for me? It was a bit too slow, a bit too sad, and a bit too familiar. Maybe if I’d read it before The Island of Sea Women, I’d have appreciated it more. Still, it’s a meaningful book that stays with you — especially the parts about the lifelong bond between women, and how love and misunderstanding can coexist.

⭐️⭐️⭐️ (3/5)

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📚 If You Liked This, Try:

• The Tea Girl of Hummingbird Lane by Lisa See — similar structure, deep emotional layers.

• Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden — for another beautifully written yet tragic look at women’s roles in history.

• Peony in Love by Lisa See — haunting and atmospheric.