Murder Takes a Vacation by Laura Lippman
⭐ 4.5/5 STARS: Murder Takes a Vacation by Laura Lippman — A Hilarious, Heartfelt, and Dangerously Fun Cruise Down the Seine 🛳️💎💋
📖 Buy Murder Takes a Vacation on Amazon (affiliate link)
⚠️ Trigger Warnings
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Substance use
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Emotional and physical abuse
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Disordered eating
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Gender discrimination & ageism
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Death and murder
💬 My Reading Experience
Here’s something you probably didn’t know about me — I love to travel. 🌍✈️ So when I find a mystery that also lets me travel vicariously? I’m ALL IN.
Murder Takes a Vacation checks every single box: a European setting, eccentric fellow travelers, a touch of romance, and of course… murder.
I laughed out loud so many times thanks to Mrs. Muriel Blossom, the 68-year-old widow at the heart of this story. She’s charmingly clueless in one moment and sharply observant the next. I’d 100% share a cruise cabin (and a cocktail) with her. 🍸
The mystery is layered and genuinely interesting, but what kept me turning pages wasn’t the murder — it was Mrs. Blossom herself. Her voice, her wit, her chaotic yet lovable way of stumbling into trouble… it’s just fun. Think Murder, She Wrote meets White Lotus with a dash of Agatha Christie.
🧠 Overview
Murder Takes a Vacation (2025) by Laura Lippman is a whip-smart cozy mystery that follows Baltimore widow Muriel Blossom as she embarks on what’s supposed to be a relaxing cruise on the River Seine. Instead, she finds herself caught in a tangled web of smuggling, stolen art, murder, and flirtation.
It’s part travelogue, part comedy of errors, and part caper — and it’s as funny as it is heartwarming.
🚨 Spoiler Warning: Full Plot Summary Below! 🚨
🛳️ Plot Summary (Full Spoilers & Ending)
68-year-old Muriel Blossom has just won almost $9 million from a misplaced lottery ticket, so she decides to treat herself to a Paris vacation and a Seine River cruise with her childhood friend, Elinor.
At the airport, she meets the dashing Allan Turner, a smooth-talking man her own age who offers to guide her through her first international trip. He gives her a vial of “melatonin gummies” to help with jet lag — and let’s just say, that’s not all they’re good for. 😉
✈️ From Baltimore to London to Paris... and Trouble
Muriel dozes off mid-flirtation with Allan, only to wake up later and learn that he’s been found dead — supposedly from an accidental fall off a hotel balcony in Paris.
The police tell her Allan texted someone her photo, name, and hotel address right before he died, writing: “A very nice lady. She has your eyes.” Creepy, right? 👀
Enter Danny Johnson, a stylish stranger who first claims to be a fashion consultant. He soon spins a wild story about Allan smuggling an ancient Pakistani statue called the Quqnoz. Danny says Allan may have hidden the artifact — or part of it — in Muriel’s luggage.
Muriel, being Muriel, laughs this off... until she realizes her hotel room has been searched.
🚢 Cruising into Chaos
Once aboard the cruise, Muriel is reunited with Elinor (her perfectly dramatic, gossip-loving bestie) and meets several colorful passengers, including the glamorous Pat Siemens and her charming “brother,” Marko.
Danny, who’s still following Muriel, keeps changing his story — first FBI, then insurance investigator, then maybe spy? Either way, Muriel’s not buying it. 😂
After a tense few days and a very close purse-snatching incident, the situation takes a darker turn. Pat Siemens accuses Danny of stealing her diamond ring. When security opens Danny’s safe, they find:
💰 A stack of Swiss francs
🕊️ The missing Quqnoz statue
💍 The stolen ring
Danny is promptly arrested, but Muriel can’t shake the feeling that something isn’t right.
💎 The Big Twist
Muriel realizes the sapphires missing from the statue match the color of Allan’s “melatonin gummies.” When she opens her pill box’s hidden compartment, she finds — yep — the jewels. 💎
Allan had used her as an unwitting smuggler.
Moments later, Pat Siemens shows up at her door — followed by Marko and Elinor. Pat demands the sapphires, revealing that she’s actually Constance Saylor, the supposedly dead museum owner from the U.S. who faked her death after an insurance scam gone wrong.
Marko, who’s really her lover (not her brother!), threatens to throw Elinor overboard unless Muriel hands over the gems.
So Muriel does what any level-headed retiree would do — she chucks the sapphires into the river and uses the chaos to shove Marko off the balcony. 🎯
Pat and Marko are both arrested.
🏁 The Ending
Danny returns (turns out, he is an FBI agent — sort of). He explains everything:
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His father was the handyman who burned down Pat/Constance’s museum at her request.
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Allan Turner was Pat’s lawyer, who double-crossed her.
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Marko murdered both men to take control of the scheme.
Muriel and Elinor return home, a little bruised but full of stories — and with a newfound appreciation for adventure.
As for Pat/Constance? She admits she did everything for love… though her “love” was an abusive con man.
Muriel ends the story not as a victim, but as a woman who’s rediscovered her courage, humor, and independence.
💬 My Thoughts
I LOVED this. ✨
It’s funny, fast-paced, and surprisingly heartwarming. I adored the travel setting (Paris, the cruise, the European chaos), and Mrs. Blossom’s voice made me laugh out loud. She’s witty, sharp, and just the right amount of nosy.
The mystery itself is satisfying — twists, secrets, double identities — but what really shines is the humor. Laura Lippman nails the tone: a cozy caper with bite.
If you like your mysteries sunny but smart, and your sleuths older, funnier, and bolder, you’ll love this one.
🧩 Verdict
⭐ 4.5 out of 5 stars.
A sparkling, hilarious cozy mystery that proves adventure — and romance — doesn’t have an age limit.
🔎 If You Liked This, Try:
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A Death in Door County by Annelise Ryan
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Finlay Donovan Jumps the Gun by Elle Cosimano
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The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman
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The Marlow Murder Club by Robert Thorogood
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Mrs. Plansky’s Revenge by Spencer Quinn
💭 Final Thoughts
Murder Takes a Vacation has everything I want in a cozy mystery: travel, humor, friendship, and a heroine who’s impossible not to root for.
It’s proof that life — and mystery — can get even more interesting after 60. 💃🌍🔍
I tried to like this, and the humor and introspection of Muriel. However, I'm in the same (ahem) age group as Muriel, and I abandoned ship on this novel after the fiftieth (it seemed) time she let strangers into her hotel room, met up with near-strangers in secluded places in a foreign country, went along with the ideas of people she hardly knew, and didn't call the police nor Embassy when she was being stalked. I know it's humor, but its the equivalent of watching the horror movie where the stupid starlet goes down the basement stairs in the dark.
ReplyDeleteThat’s completely fair, and I see exactly what you’re saying. I decided early on that I wasn’t going to take this book too seriously, because Muriel’s choices were undeniably absurd. It hovered near a lower rating for much of the book for me as well, but the final chapters elevated it — I found the twists clever and fun enough to make it work overall, even if the logic required some suspension of disbelief.
DeleteIt’s that willing suspension of disbelief that makes all fiction work, right?
ReplyDeleteExactly. That willing suspension of disbelief is doing a lot of heavy lifting in most fiction. I mean, take almost any Freida McFadden book — wildly implausible at times, and yet I still happily devour them. 😆
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