Not Without My Daughter, A True Story by Betty Mahmoody

 

ARGHHHHH!!! This DID NOT LIVE UP TO EXPECTATIONS! I knew going in this was going to be an autobiographical account of one woman's journey escaping from a terrible situation in Iran. When I read a tragic autobiographical story, I'm READY to sympathize and feel good at the author's accomplishment at the end. However, to earn my sympathy, you need to 1. Not come across as a bitch. 2. Not make stupid mistakes yourself over and over again, and 3. Always be grateful towards the people that did help you, if they exist. This book completely, completely, failed at all 3. It's terrible. And it screams xenophobia. This book honestly needs to be rewritten.

Not Without My Daughter tells the story of Betty Mahmoody, who was married to an Iranian American doctor, Sayyed Bozorg "Moody" Mahmoody. Moody acted fairly normal when they first started dating, and later getting married. However, he started having issues at work and was fired. He started battling with depression, and there are some red flags. Betty considered leaving him but found out she was pregnant so she decided to stay. 

When their child Mahtob is 4, Moody tells Betty they should take a family trip to Iran to visit his family for 2 weeks. Betty has her reservations but agrees. Up until this point, I would say she has made quite a few stupid mistakes, such as marrying him, staying with him, going to Iran with him, and giving him her passports as soon as they landed. (I'm retelling the story based on chronological events, not the order in the book.) Once they land in Iran, which is the beginning of the book, her primadonna personality really shows. She complains about everything, like literally, everything. She complains about Moody having almost a hundred relatives showing up to receive them at the airport. She makes fun of everyone is a "nephew" when they are actually distant relatives that she never figured out exactly how they are related. She complains about the heat, the pollution, the BO, the fact their bed is lumpy, there was a cockroach near the toilet, etc. etc. My God, was she expecting a resort? Moody's family slaughtered a sheep for this special occasion, and for tradition, she needs to walk over the pool of blood. She legit tells Moody she's not doing that and "that's stupid". Why would you make fun of someone else's tradition? 

Later, she finds out from her husband Moody that he never planned on returning to America. He had lost his job again and he's going to stay in Iran indefinitely. Obviously this is bad news for Betty. When Betty fought back, he started getting violent. She goes through many months of this, things get better and worse from time to time. She tries to find ways to get out. Sometimes she would find a way, but it's not possible to take Mahtob with her, so she refuses to leave. Throughout all this time, she's had sooooo many people, both Iranians and Iranian Americans and Americans that helped her. It doesn't seem like she EVER acted thankful at all, only complained about the food she receives from them. 

Eventually she gets out with the help of someone named Amahl. It was a dangerous and long journey, going through Turkey and other countries, almost getting killed along the way. I definitely don't feel like she repaid him much either. She paid him back the money he spent on her to get her out, and acts as if that's so nice of her. These people risked their lives to save her and she acts like Iranians are terrible.

This book should be completely rewritten. She can talk about her terrible relationship - this is a story of someone surviving spousal abuse. She can talk about the kindness of others who helped her out of this terrible situation, even putting their own lives and money on the line. This should not be a book to attack Iran or Muslims. To be clear, I don't know anything about Iran or Muslim, but it seems neither does she.