So Old, So Young Review ⭐⭐⭐✨ (3.5/5) | A Thoughtful Look at Friendship... That Sometimes Tries to Do Too Much
Friendships are funny things. ❤️
Just the other day I was talking with my 13-year-old daughter about her friend group. They've all been close for years, and I asked her if she thought they'd still be friends as adults. She smiled and said she hoped so.
That conversation stuck with me.
As much as I'd love for that to happen, I also know life has a funny way of changing people. The kids you can't imagine living without at 13 might become strangers at 30—not because anyone did anything wrong, but because people grow in different directions.
That's exactly what So Old, So Young explores, and honestly, it had me thinking long after I finished the last page. 💙
Rating: ⭐⭐⭐✨ (3.5/5)
⚠️ Trigger Warnings
Death
Funeral scenes
Alcoholism & addiction
Drug use
Infidelity
Pregnancy loss
Pregnancy termination
Mental illness
Emotional abuse
Sexual content
Strong language
📚 Plot Summary (Spoiler-Free)
So Old, So Young by Grant Ginder follows six close friends—Mia, Marco, Richie, Adam, Nina, and Sasha—over nearly twenty years.
Instead of following them year by year, the novel drops readers into a handful of reunions: New Year's Eve parties, weddings, birthdays, holiday celebrations, and eventually a funeral. Every gathering reveals how much has changed since the last time everyone was together.
Relationships begin and end. Careers take unexpected turns. Marriages are tested. Children are born. Old resentments quietly simmer beneath polite conversations.
The novel asks an interesting question:
Can a friendship survive when the people who created it no longer exist?
It's less about dramatic plot twists and more about watching time slowly reshape people.
💭 My Thoughts
This book hit me in a way I wasn't expecting.
Not because of any huge twist or shocking revelation—but because it made me think about how friendships evolve over time.
As adults, we tend to assume lifelong friendships either happen or they don't. But when you stop and think about it, every lifelong friendship starts with a bunch of awkward teenagers who simply happened to meet.
Some stay together.
Most don't.
Reading this right after talking with my daughter made the story feel surprisingly personal. Watching these characters drift closer, farther apart, reconnect, and sometimes barely recognize one another felt incredibly realistic.
Life doesn't always end friendships with one big fight.
Sometimes life just... happens.
People move.
People get married.
People have kids.
People change.
And suddenly the people who once knew every detail about your life only know what you post online.
That's probably the biggest strength of this novel.
❤️ It captures how bittersweet growing older can be.
🤯 Where the Book Lost Me
Unfortunately...
This book occasionally feels like it invited way too many people to the party. 😂
We already have six major protagonists, each with their own relationships, careers, romantic history, family drama, and emotional baggage.
Then Grant Ginder introduces a parade of partners, spouses, children, coworkers, acquaintances, bandmates, affair partners, and other side characters.
By the halfway point I occasionally found myself thinking:
"Wait...who is this again?" 😅
Keeping everyone straight became work.
The other issue is pacing.
Several storylines wander into what feel like long detours. While they often contribute to the novel's larger themes, they don't always feel necessary in the moment. I occasionally found myself waiting for the narrative to return to the friendships that drew me into the story in the first place.
Sometimes less really is more.
🚨 SPOILER WARNING 🚨
Everything below discusses the ending of So Old, So Young.
Proceed at your own risk! 👀
🚨 Full Spoilers & Ending Explained
The novel begins in 2024 with Mia flying back to New York to reunite with her old friends before jumping backward to New Year's Eve 2007, when the group first solidifies as a close-knit circle. It's here that Mia meets Marco, and their relationship begins with an impulsive kiss after a midnight run to buy ice and mixers.
Over the years, the novel revisits the group during milestone events.
Mia and Marco eventually build a serious relationship but split after Marco accepts a job in Washington, D.C. Mia isn't ready to uproot her life, and the distance ultimately ends their romance. Later, Marco marries Emily, and they have a daughter named Ava.
Richie continues battling addiction throughout much of the novel. His drinking and cocaine use strain nearly every relationship around him, particularly with Adam. Although Richie eventually becomes sober, his insecurities and resentment continue to simmer beneath the surface.
Sasha appears to have built the picture-perfect family life, but privately she's unhappy in her marriage to Theo. Feeling isolated and overwhelmed, she begins an affair with Mitch Reynolds. Nina accidentally discovers the affair during Richie’s birthday weekend but keeps the secret.
Meanwhile, Adam serves as the emotional glue holding much of the group together. His relationship with Richie is complicated and on-again, off-again before ultimately ending. Adam later finds happiness with Rami, and together they have a child.
The group's biggest fracture occurs during Sasha's Halloween party in 2022. Mia is hurt after learning Sasha cancels their long-planned trip to support Emily instead. Their argument escalates, Richie drunkenly exposes Sasha's affair with Mitch, and years of buried resentment explode into the open. The evening ends with friendships badly damaged and everyone leaving angry.
The novel then returns to 2024.
Rather than another celebration, the friends reunite for Adam's funeral after he unexpectedly dies from a rare genetic disorder not long after becoming a father.
His death forces everyone to confront how much time has passed—and how fragile life truly is.
Standing together again, the friends reflect on everything they've survived: broken relationships, betrayals, addiction, marriages, children, and years spent drifting apart and back together.
No magical reunion fixes everything.
Not every wound completely heals.
But Adam's death reminds them why they mattered to one another in the first place.
The novel closes on a hopeful but realistic note. The friendships aren't exactly what they once were—and they probably never will be—but they choose to move forward carrying both their shared history and the people they've become.
It's a fitting ending for a novel that's less interested in perfect friendships than in the messy reality of keeping them alive.
📖 Final Verdict
So Old, So Young is less about what happens and more about what happens between the big moments.
It's thoughtful, relatable, and quietly emotional, especially if you've ever looked around at old friends and realized everyone has become someone different.
I just wish it had trimmed some of its cast and side stories. The emotional core is strong enough without quite so many narrative detours.
Still, if you've ever wondered why some friendships last forever while others slowly fade away, this one is worth picking up.
Final Rating: ⭐⭐⭐✨ (3.5/5)
📚 If You Enjoyed So Old, So Young, Try These
💕 Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin — A beautiful exploration of decades-long friendship, creativity, and love.
🏡 The Most Fun We Ever Had by Claire Lombardo — A sprawling family drama with rich relationships and emotional complexity.
🎭 The Interestings by Meg Wolitzer — Follows a close-knit group of friends from adolescence into adulthood, exploring ambition, success, envy, and the changing nature of friendship.
🍷 The People We Hate at the Wedding by Grant Ginder — The author's witty and chaotic family comedy that explores complicated relationships from a very different angle.
🌊 Malibu Rising by Taylor Jenkins Reid — Family secrets, shifting relationships, and characters navigating who they've become as adults.
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